Discussion:
OT: The Hospital Tour
(too old to reply)
ngtybtnice
2005-08-28 12:11:38 UTC
Permalink
Tony Blair opens a new wing to an Edinburgh hospital. After cutting the
ribbon, the British prime minister tours a ward, filled with patients
who seem to have no obvious injury. He greets a bearded chap, who
replies: "Fair fa' your honest sonsie face, Great chieftain e'the
puddin' race! Aboon them a' ye tak your place, Painch, tripe, or
thairm: Weel are ye wordy o'a grace. As lang's my arm."

Blair -- somewhat confused -- nods, grins and moves on to the next
patient, to ask how he's getting along. The man shakes his head and
mutters: "Some hae meat, and canna eat, And some wad eat that want it,
But we hae meat and we can eat, And sae the Lord be thankit."

Blair turns to a third patient, an older man in a tam, who cries:
"Wee sleekit, cow'rin, tim'rous beastie, O, what a panic's in thy
breastie! Thou need na start awa sae hasty, Wi bickering brattle! I wad
be laith to rin an chase thee, Wi murdering pattle!"

Sweating bullets, Blair turns to the senior doctor accompanying him.
"What sort of ward is this?" he whispers. "Are they psychiatric
patients?"

"No," replies the doctor, "It's the Burns unit."
Shat T. Cat
2005-08-28 13:53:01 UTC
Permalink
Post by ngtybtnice
"No," replies the doctor, "It's the Burns unit."
My apologizes to the east-side-of-the-ponders, but can someone
explain that joke to this west-side-of-the-ponder (far, far
west-side).
--
Shat T Cat - Creature of Cyberspace
"In Fluffy We Trust"
ngtybtnice
2005-08-28 14:19:59 UTC
Permalink
Post by Shat T. Cat
Post by ngtybtnice
"No," replies the doctor, "It's the Burns unit."
My apologizes to the east-side-of-the-ponders, but can someone
explain that joke to this west-side-of-the-ponder (far, far
west-side).
It is a pun on the phrase "Burns Unit". [pun noun): the usually
humorous use of a word in such a way as to suggest two or more of its
meanings or the meaning of another word similar in sound]

In the USA there is a special section of most hospitals where they
treat people who have been burned. This is called a Burn Unit.

However, Burns is also the name of a famous writer [Robert Burns
(January 25, 1759 - July 21, 1796) is the best known of the poets who
have written in Lowland Scots. Burns also collected folk songs from
across Scotland, often times revising or adapting them. His poem (and
song) Auld Lang Syne is often sung at Hogmanay. Other poems and songs
of Burns that remain well known today across the world include A Red,
Red Rose, To a Louse, and To a Mouse.]

So while Tony Blair was visiting a Burns Unit (which we in the colonies
would equate with someone who was recovering from being burned)he was
actually meeting with people who were not burned, but who were quoting
Burns (the poet).
Shat T. Cat
2005-08-28 16:01:02 UTC
Permalink
Post by ngtybtnice
Post by Shat T. Cat
Post by ngtybtnice
"No," replies the doctor, "It's the Burns unit."
My apologizes to the east-side-of-the-ponders, but can someone
explain that joke to this west-side-of-the-ponder (far, far
west-side).
It is a pun on the phrase "Burns Unit". [pun noun): the usually
humorous use of a word in such a way as to suggest two or more of its
meanings or the meaning of another word similar in sound]
In the USA there is a special section of most hospitals where they
treat people who have been burned. This is called a Burn Unit.
However, Burns is also the name of a famous writer [Robert Burns
(January 25, 1759 - July 21, 1796) is the best known of the poets who
have written in Lowland Scots. Burns also collected folk songs from
across Scotland, often times revising or adapting them. His poem (and
song) Auld Lang Syne is often sung at Hogmanay. Other poems and songs
of Burns that remain well known today across the world include A Red,
Red Rose, To a Louse, and To a Mouse.]
So while Tony Blair was visiting a Burns Unit (which we in the colonies
would equate with someone who was recovering from being burned)he was
actually meeting with people who were not burned, but who were quoting
Burns (the poet).
Thanks for the explanation.

I sometimes run into similar problems when I tell a joke or make a
wisecrack around my office. I know enough to not expect my Japanese
friends and co-workers to understand USAian humor, but I sometimes
forget the age difference between myself and my USAian co-workers.
--
Shat T Cat - Creature of Cyberspace
"In Fluffy We Trust"
Monika Krug
2005-08-28 20:56:34 UTC
Permalink
Post by Shat T. Cat
I sometimes run into similar problems when I tell a joke or make a
wisecrack around my office. I know enough to not expect my Japanese
friends and co-workers to understand USAian humor, but I sometimes
forget the age difference between myself and my USAian co-workers.
But haven't you learned about Robert Burns when you went to school in
the US? He's, like, famous, you know ;-) . Famous enough so I learned
about him in my German school.

Monika.
--
All wars are civil wars, because all men are brothers ... Each one owes
infinitely more to the human race than to the particular country in
which he was born. - Francois Fenelon, theologian and writer (1651-1715)

E-mail address is valid until 4 weeks after the expiration date. Use
@arcor.de instead.
DaveG
2005-08-28 22:00:53 UTC
Permalink
Post by Monika Krug
But haven't you learned about Robert Burns when you went to school in
the US? He's, like, famous, you know ;-) . Famous enough so I learned
about him in my German school.
Yeah, but he's not American ;-)
--
Dave
Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder
NonValidName
2005-08-28 22:12:02 UTC
Permalink
On Sun, 28 Aug 2005 22:00:53 GMT, DaveG <dave-***@nospam.tld> engraved
this tome in stone
Post by DaveG
Yeah, but he's not American ;-)
OUCH!! That would not hurt nearly so much were it not so true.

Ken
When the chips are down, the buffalo move on.

(For email, change yoohoo dot com to yahoo dot com)
DaveG
2005-08-28 22:15:09 UTC
Permalink
Post by NonValidName
this tome in stone
Post by DaveG
Yeah, but he's not American ;-)
OUCH!! That would not hurt nearly so much were it not so true.
It really was only meant tongue in cheek ;-)

You've got a big country there. By the time history lessons have covered
everything local or the news programs have covered everything local,
there's not much time left for the rest of the world ;-)
--
Dave
Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder
Shat T. Cat
2005-08-29 14:06:20 UTC
Permalink
Post by DaveG
Post by NonValidName
this tome in stone
Post by DaveG
Yeah, but he's not American ;-)
OUCH!! That would not hurt nearly so much were it not so true.
It really was only meant tongue in cheek ;-)
You've got a big country there. By the time history lessons have covered
everything local or the news programs have covered everything local,
there's not much time left for the rest of the world ;-)
In part, that is true. Of course, we did spend a lot of time
learning how terrible being subjects of the British King was.
--
Shat T Cat - Creature of Cyberspace
"In Fluffy We Trust"
DaveG
2005-08-29 16:12:41 UTC
Permalink
Post by Shat T. Cat
In part, that is true. Of course, we did spend a lot of time
learning how terrible being subjects of the British King was.
:-)
--
Dave
Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder
Mecoman
2005-08-29 02:02:49 UTC
Permalink
Post by DaveG
Post by Monika Krug
But haven't you learned about Robert Burns when you went to school in
the US? He's, like, famous, you know ;-) . Famous enough so I learned
about him in my German school.
Yeah, but he's not American ;-)
Shouldna matter.

We read Burns in High School in the early '60's. I didn't understand him
then, and I haven't read him since.

Of course, I thought the joke was referring to George Burns.


Say goodnight, Gracie....

Goodnight.
--
Jeff
It is preferential to refrain from the utilization of sesquipedalian
verbiage in the circumstance that your intellectualization can be verbalized
using compararatively simplistic lexicographical entitities.
Shat T. Cat
2005-08-29 14:08:36 UTC
Permalink
On Sun, 28 Aug 2005 22:02:49 -0400, "Mecoman"
Post by Mecoman
Of course, I thought the joke was referring to George Burns.
Yes, I doubled checked the quotes for that too. The joke would
work just as well (if not better) with a few of his lines.
--
Shat T Cat - Creature of Cyberspace
"In Fluffy We Trust"
Darrell Stec
2005-08-29 20:57:31 UTC
Permalink
After serious contemplation, on or about Sunday 28 August 2005 10:02 pm
Post by Mecoman
Post by DaveG
Post by Monika Krug
But haven't you learned about Robert Burns when you went to school in
the US? He's, like, famous, you know ;-) . Famous enough so I learned
about him in my German school.
Yeah, but he's not American ;-)
Shouldna matter.
We read Burns in High School in the early '60's. I didn't understand him
then, and I haven't read him since.
Of course, I thought the joke was referring to George Burns.
Say goodnight, Gracie....
Goodnight.
I knew exactly the underlying pun and the poet connection. After suffering
with those tortuous verses in high school who could ever forget Robert
Burns?

It hurt my eyes just to read Monika's post.
--
Later,
Darrell Stec ***@neo.rr.com

Webpage Sorcery
http://webpagesorcery.com
We Put the Magic in Your Webpages
fwb
2005-08-30 00:33:48 UTC
Permalink
On Mon, 29 Aug 2005 16:57:31 -0400, Darrell Stec
Post by Darrell Stec
I knew exactly the underlying pun and the poet connection. After suffering
with those tortuous verses in high school who could ever forget Robert
Burns?
Come to think of it, I can't remember any Burns from my high school,
but dammit any literate person should know who he is, even as just the
author of Auld Lang Syne.

But I guess there is a shortage of literate USAn persons these days. I
have to say, there is little public evidence that people know crap
about our history and heritage, whether political, literary, or
cultural.
Shat T. Cat
2005-08-30 14:57:17 UTC
Permalink
Post by fwb
On Mon, 29 Aug 2005 16:57:31 -0400, Darrell Stec
Post by Darrell Stec
I knew exactly the underlying pun and the poet connection. After suffering
with those tortuous verses in high school who could ever forget Robert
Burns?
Come to think of it, I can't remember any Burns from my high school,
but dammit any literate person should know who he is, even as just the
author of Auld Lang Syne.
But I guess there is a shortage of literate USAn persons these days. I
have to say, there is little public evidence that people know crap
about our history and heritage, whether political, literary, or
cultural.
I thought it was the people who went to high school (or was it
college) in the 60's that said those things don't matter any more.
--
Shat T Cat - Creature of Cyberspace
"In Fluffy We Trust"
Darrell Stec
2005-08-30 15:57:48 UTC
Permalink
After serious contemplation, on or about Tuesday 30 August 2005 10:57 am
Post by Shat T. Cat
Post by fwb
On Mon, 29 Aug 2005 16:57:31 -0400, Darrell Stec
Post by Darrell Stec
I knew exactly the underlying pun and the poet connection. After
suffering with those tortuous verses in high school who could ever forget
Robert Burns?
Come to think of it, I can't remember any Burns from my high school,
but dammit any literate person should know who he is, even as just the
author of Auld Lang Syne.
But I guess there is a shortage of literate USAn persons these days. I
have to say, there is little public evidence that people know crap
about our history and heritage, whether political, literary, or
cultural.
I thought it was the people who went to high school (or was it
college) in the 60's that said those things don't matter any more.
I went to high school during that time period, and it sure did seem
important to my teachers. Being in a seminary, the prefects of the dorms
seemed to have considered those things important too. God forbid (and I do
mean God or so we were told) that we should allow our grades to slump to a
C average.
--
Later,
Darrell Stec ***@neo.rr.com

Webpage Sorcery
http://webpagesorcery.com
We Put the Magic in Your Webpages
Cliff
2005-08-30 18:44:29 UTC
Permalink
On Tue, 30 Aug 2005 11:57:48 -0400, Darrell Stec
Post by Darrell Stec
God forbid (and I do
mean God or so we were told) that we should allow our grades to slump to a
C average.
Grading on a curve, were they?
Lacking Cs, Ds & Es (or Fs) do As & Bs
actually mean anything?
--
Cliff
Darrell Stec
2005-08-30 21:07:12 UTC
Permalink
After serious contemplation, on or about Tuesday 30 August 2005 2:44 pm
Post by Cliff
On Tue, 30 Aug 2005 11:57:48 -0400, Darrell Stec
Post by Darrell Stec
God forbid (and I do
mean God or so we were told) that we should allow our grades to slump to a
C average.
Grading on a curve, were they?
Lacking Cs, Ds & Es (or Fs) do As & Bs
actually mean anything?
This was a seminary. No grading on the curve. You either made the grades
or you were out. [You might not know it but the priests and brothers
drummed into the seminarians' heads that if they didn't make it or if they
quit they were failures and would be cursed by god as failures for the rest
of their lives, never amounting to anything worthwhile. And people think
they had it bad in regular Catholic schools.]
--
Later,
Darrell Stec ***@neo.rr.com

Webpage Sorcery
http://webpagesorcery.com
We Put the Magic in Your Webpages
fwb
2005-08-30 16:39:39 UTC
Permalink
On Tue, 30 Aug 2005 23:57:17 +0900, Shat T. Cat
(snip)
Post by Shat T. Cat
Post by fwb
But I guess there is a shortage of literate USAn persons these days. I
have to say, there is little public evidence that people know crap
about our history and heritage, whether political, literary, or
cultural.
I thought it was the people who went to high school (or was it
college) in the 60's that said those things don't matter any more.
Well, that was me and I don't recall saying any such thing. And I
sure didn't hear it from my teachers at any level.
Monika Krug
2005-09-03 00:18:33 UTC
Permalink
Post by fwb
But I guess there is a shortage of literate USAn persons these days. I
have to say, there is little public evidence that people know crap
about our history and heritage, whether political, literary, or
cultural.
Geography, too.

Monika.
--
All wars are civil wars, because all men are brothers ... Each one owes
infinitely more to the human race than to the particular country in
which he was born. - Francois Fenelon, theologian and writer (1651-1715)

E-mail address is valid until 4 weeks after the expiration date. Use
@arcor.de instead.
fwb
2005-09-04 21:54:49 UTC
Permalink
On Sat, 03 Sep 2005 02:18:33 +0200, Monika Krug
Post by Monika Krug
Post by fwb
But I guess there is a shortage of literate USAn persons these days. I
have to say, there is little public evidence that people know crap
about our history and heritage, whether political, literary, or
cultural.
Geography, too.
Hell, geography has been a lost cause for long I just give up.

There was some virtue to making kids learn the names of the capitals
of all the States. At least then, they know what the States were
named.

The joke, founded in sad reality, where I come from is that, when you
tell someone you're from Delaware, they ask, "What state is that in?"

Our unofficial nickname is "Delawhere?"

And before anyone posts it, here it is:

What did Delaware?

What did Dela wear, boys.
What did Dela wear? (Delaware)
I ask you now as a personal friend.
What did Dela wear?

She wore her new jersey, boys.
She wore her new jersey. (New Jersey)
I tell you now as a personal friend.
She wore her new jersey.

What did Ida hoe, boys.
What did Ida hoe? (Idaho)
I ask you now as a personal friend.
What did Ida hoe?

She hoed her Mary land, boys.
She hoed her Mary land. (Maryland)
I tell you now as a personal friend.
She hoed her Mary land.

(the song goes on in the same pattern with different set of questions
and answers.)

Q: What did Io weigh? (Iowa)
A: She weighed a washing ton. (Washington)

Q: How did Wiscon sin? (Wisconsin)
A: She stole a new brass key. (Nebraska)

Q: What did Tennes see? (Tennessee)
A: She saw what Arkan saw. (Arkansa)

Q: How did Flora die? (Florida)
A: She died in misery. (Missouri)

Q: Where has Ore gone? (Oregon)
A: She's gone to Okla home. (Oklahoma)

Q: Why did Cali phone ya? (California)
A: She phoned to say "How are ya?" (Hawaii)

Q: What did Missis sip?
A: She sipped a mini soda (Minnisota)

Q: What did Dela wear?

Courtesy of http://cp_lai.tripod.com/month83.htm

Monika Krug
2005-09-03 00:17:57 UTC
Permalink
Post by Darrell Stec
I knew exactly the underlying pun and the poet connection. After suffering
with those tortuous verses in high school who could ever forget Robert
Burns?
It hurt my eyes just to read Monika's post.
Why did it hurt your eyes?

Monika.
--
All wars are civil wars, because all men are brothers ... Each one owes
infinitely more to the human race than to the particular country in
which he was born. - Francois Fenelon, theologian and writer (1651-1715)

E-mail address is valid until 4 weeks after the expiration date. Use
@arcor.de instead.
Darrell Stec
2005-09-03 01:00:04 UTC
Permalink
After serious contemplation, on or about Friday 02 September 2005 8:17 pm
Post by Monika Krug
Post by Darrell Stec
I knew exactly the underlying pun and the poet connection. After
suffering with those tortuous verses in high school who could ever forget
Robert Burns?
It hurt my eyes just to read Monika's post.
Why did it hurt your eyes?
Monika.
Because it is "tortured" reading, i.e. very difficult, a pain.
--
Later,
Darrell Stec ***@neo.rr.com

Webpage Sorcery
http://webpagesorcery.com
We Put the Magic in Your Webpages
Monika Krug
2005-09-03 23:25:11 UTC
Permalink
Post by Darrell Stec
Post by Monika Krug
Post by Darrell Stec
I knew exactly the underlying pun and the poet connection. After
suffering with those tortuous verses in high school who could ever forget
Robert Burns?
It hurt my eyes just to read Monika's post.
Why did it hurt your eyes?
Monika.
Because it is "tortured" reading, i.e. very difficult, a pain.
Yeah, but why did reading my posting cause you pain? ::confuzzled::

Monika.
--
All wars are civil wars, because all men are brothers ... Each one owes
infinitely more to the human race than to the particular country in
which he was born. - Francois Fenelon, theologian and writer (1651-1715)

E-mail address is valid until 4 weeks after the expiration date. Use
@arcor.de instead.
Darrell Stec
2005-09-04 11:13:45 UTC
Permalink
After serious contemplation, on or about Saturday 03 September 2005 7:25 pm
Post by Monika Krug
Post by Darrell Stec
Post by Monika Krug
Post by Darrell Stec
I knew exactly the underlying pun and the poet connection. After
suffering with those tortuous verses in high school who could ever
forget Robert Burns?
It hurt my eyes just to read Monika's post.
Why did it hurt your eyes?
Monika.
Because it is "tortured" reading, i.e. very difficult, a pain.
Monika.
Not you. The Burns poetry. I stopped reading that stuff as soon as the
classes were over and tried to avoid them ever since. Hieroglyphics would
be easier to understand.
--
Later,
Darrell Stec ***@neo.rr.com

Webpage Sorcery
http://webpagesorcery.com
We Put the Magic in Your Webpages
Monika Krug
2005-09-03 00:15:36 UTC
Permalink
Post by DaveG
Post by Monika Krug
But haven't you learned about Robert Burns when you went to school in
the US? He's, like, famous, you know ;-) . Famous enough so I learned
about him in my German school.
Yeah, but he's not American ;-)
Burns isn't American, but neither is Shakespeare, and he is taught in
the US, too.

Monika.
--
All wars are civil wars, because all men are brothers ... Each one owes
infinitely more to the human race than to the particular country in
which he was born. - Francois Fenelon, theologian and writer (1651-1715)

E-mail address is valid until 4 weeks after the expiration date. Use
@arcor.de instead.
Shat T. Cat
2005-08-29 14:04:19 UTC
Permalink
On Sun, 28 Aug 2005 22:56:34 +0200, Monika Krug
Post by Monika Krug
Post by Shat T. Cat
I sometimes run into similar problems when I tell a joke or make a
wisecrack around my office. I know enough to not expect my Japanese
friends and co-workers to understand USAian humor, but I sometimes
forget the age difference between myself and my USAian co-workers.
But haven't you learned about Robert Burns when you went to school in
the US? He's, like, famous, you know ;-) . Famous enough so I learned
about him in my German school.
Ahm.... I don't think so. But, English wasn't my major area of
study.
--
Shat T Cat - Creature of Cyberspace
"In Fluffy We Trust"
DaveG
2005-08-29 16:11:28 UTC
Permalink
Post by Shat T. Cat
Ahm.... I don't think so. But, English wasn't my major area of
study.
English? He's SCOTTISH!!!!

I hope there's no Scots reading here. The death threats will be flying :-)
--
Dave
Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder
Shat T. Cat
2005-08-30 14:51:56 UTC
Permalink
Post by DaveG
Post by Shat T. Cat
Ahm.... I don't think so. But, English wasn't my major area of
study.
English? He's SCOTTISH!!!!
I hope there's no Scots reading here. The death threats will be flying :-)
Ahm.... that would be English as in the English language, which
literature would fall under where I come from.
--
Shat T Cat - Creature of Cyberspace
"In Fluffy We Trust"
Cliff
2005-08-29 19:35:00 UTC
Permalink
On Mon, 29 Aug 2005 23:04:19 +0900, Shat T. Cat
Post by Shat T. Cat
On Sun, 28 Aug 2005 22:56:34 +0200, Monika Krug
Post by Monika Krug
Post by Shat T. Cat
I sometimes run into similar problems when I tell a joke or make a
wisecrack around my office. I know enough to not expect my Japanese
friends and co-workers to understand USAian humor, but I sometimes
forget the age difference between myself and my USAian co-workers.
But haven't you learned about Robert Burns when you went to school in
the US? He's, like, famous, you know ;-) . Famous enough so I learned
about him in my German school.
Ahm.... I don't think so. But, English wasn't my major area of
study.
It was one of mine back in HS but there's just so much of it .....
--
Cliff
D. Kirkpatrick
2005-08-29 16:49:54 UTC
Permalink
Post by Monika Krug
But haven't you learned about Robert Burns when you went to school in
the US? He's, like, famous, you know ;-) . Famous enough so I learned
about him in my German school.
Monika.
On netowork television we have the "Tonight Show" hosted by comedian
Jay Leno.

He has a regular segment where he goes out onto the streets of
California to ask questions of people that should have been learned in
school. He also asks common knowledge such as 'who is the Speaker of
the House of Representatives', somewhat our equivelent of the British
Prime Minister whose functioning capacity is quite different.

Then the silly answers come from the wealth of people who don't have
the answers showing just how stuoid the American public really is.

Who 'Robert Burns' is would be covered in school of course. It was
for me. But it might escape the hoards of people who care little
about a wealth of topics.
DaveG
2005-08-29 18:45:39 UTC
Permalink
Post by D. Kirkpatrick
On netowork television we have the "Tonight Show" hosted by comedian
Jay Leno.
He has a regular segment where he goes out onto the streets of
California to ask questions of people that should have been learned in
school. He also asks common knowledge such as 'who is the Speaker of
the House of Representatives', somewhat our equivelent of the British
Prime Minister whose functioning capacity is quite different.
Then the silly answers come from the wealth of people who don't have
the answers showing just how stuoid the American public really is.
We get similar here in the UK too. Of course, the show only broadcasts
the silliest answers to propogate the effect they want to have on the
audience. ie, aren't you, our audience clever and aren't all those other
people stupid. Keep watching. We love you.
--
Dave
Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder
Cliff
2005-08-29 19:40:26 UTC
Permalink
On Mon, 29 Aug 2005 16:49:54 GMT, "D. Kirkpatrick"
Post by D. Kirkpatrick
Who 'Robert Burns' is would be covered in school of course. It was
for me. But it might escape the hoards of people who care little
about a wealth of topics.
Well then, who was Tessa Sweazy Webb?
(Other than "Aunt Tess" to me <G>.)
--
Cliff
Monika Krug
2005-09-03 00:14:56 UTC
Permalink
Post by D. Kirkpatrick
On netowork television we have the "Tonight Show" hosted by comedian
Jay Leno.
He has a regular segment where he goes out onto the streets of
California to ask questions of people that should have been learned in
school.
I know. Jay walking.
Post by D. Kirkpatrick
Then the silly answers come from the wealth of people who don't have
the answers showing just how stuoid the American public really is.
Some German TV shows have copied this, and there are sufficient numbers
of very stupid Germans to fill all of them. E.g. "where was the border
between East and West Germany" and a dozen people not drawing a line in
North-South direction.

Monika.
--
All wars are civil wars, because all men are brothers ... Each one owes
infinitely more to the human race than to the particular country in
which he was born. - Francois Fenelon, theologian and writer (1651-1715)

E-mail address is valid until 4 weeks after the expiration date. Use
@arcor.de instead.
D. Kirkpatrick
2005-08-28 17:17:05 UTC
Permalink
Post by Shat T. Cat
My apologizes to the east-side-of-the-ponders, but can someone
explain that joke to this west-side-of-the-ponder (far, far
west-side).
Poet/writer Robert Burns
fwb
2005-08-28 21:51:09 UTC
Permalink
Post by ngtybtnice
"No," replies the doctor, "It's the Burns unit."
Well, this gives me a bad joke goal to shoot for.

Have to get out the Bennett Cerf Canon to beat this one.
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